Falling Apart
by Rubygirl283
Summary: Quite possibly the best thing I've ever written. A love story and your times in Organization XIII. NEW! EPILOGUE!
1. Part 1

**"What am I?"**

**"A Nobody. Someone whose heart has been entirely consumed by darkness. The strong-willed, empty shells, who fight for their hearts back. _Those who should not rightfully exist._"**

**That is what Xemnas told you the day you were created and given your new name. It has stayed with you ever since.**

* * *

As you walked down the halls of The Castle That Never Was, you think about the note you found next to your pillow this morning.

"Meet me in Twilight Town after work today. - Xemnas"

You wondered if you'd done something. Thinking back the past few days, you don't remember any of your missions going horribly wrong. Or, at least, nothing Saix couldn't handle. It had honestly just been, well, work. Nothing special.

"Hey, _."

You looked up at the mention of your name. The fiery red-head, Axel, looked down at you cooly. His arms were crossed, and a gentle smile was etched on his lips as he leaned against the glass of the windows in the main room. Outside, Kingdom Hearts glowed, lighting up a starless, eternal night.

"We're teaming up today. Get your stuff ready."

You just joined a few weeks ago and still weren't in a very talky mood. You didn't say much to anyone. The most you ever said was always to the author of your note, Xemnas. Even then, it wasn't a whole lot. But it made you feel like you could be happy, how he treated you like something other than the rookie. This feeling of non-talkiness applied to even the warm and friendly Axel.

"I'm already ready."

Axel, seeing your blank expression, sighed and heaved himself up off of the glass, opening a dark corridor next to you. "Ok, let's go." He walked through, frustrated that even his bright personality couldn't crack you open. You were about to follow suit when suddenly, someone grabbed your shoulders and twisted you around.

It was Demyx. He was probably the second-most chattiest person you were with. He had a panicked expression on his face as he began to lecture you.

"Ok, _, I know this is probably your first really mission-y mission, so if you get slaughtered, or they feel the need to turn you into a dusk, I will personally come and destroy you, ok?"

In the background, Xigbar laughed and said, "As if. Good luck, small fry."

Slightly frightened, you nodded at Xigbar, and hugged Demyx. "I won't be back for a while - I'm meeting someone after work. So I'll see you later, ok?" You then ran into the dark corridor, seeing it close around his confused expression. Apparently, you were the only one to remember hugs were a part of friendship.

You arrived to Twilight Town (you inwardly thought how convenient this was so that you'd already be here when Xemnas showed up) to Axel tapping his foot and looking annoyed. His nice, friendly exterior had melted into an icy babysitter mode. "What took you so long, _?"

Seeing his expression, you instantly feel guilty and look at your feet. "I... I just..."

"So? Out with it!"

"Demyx and Xigbar were telling me good luck..."

He sighed, and you couldn't see him relax slightly. "Don't make me wait so long. It irritates me. Got it memorized?"

You nodded and continued to look at your feet.

"Today, we'll be following a group of children. They've seemed to come up with a few local myths, and we need to figure them out and investigate them. Hey, look up when I'm talking to you, XIV."

You looked up, fearing the worst, that Axel was going to lose his temper, or make you do something you didn't want to do. He seemed to be getting extremely frustrated, for no apparent reason other than you weren't opening up to him. You wondered if something made him feel like this from his past. Xemnas had explained that most Nobodies remembered their pasts, but thought of it as baggage, or a pain.

"Do you know what we're supposed to do?"

You frowned and replied, "I'm not stupid, I heard you."

"May I remind you, XIV, that this is your first real mission. If you're having problems with anything, feel free to tell me and I'll do my best to assist you." He seemed to be feeling a little less frustrated. Maybe that was because you showed a little personality to him. "Now, where do you suggest we go first?"

You looked around, and noticed the high-fenced area with a door on it. You pointed there, and Axel asked you, "Why there?"

"That's where they hang out, isn't it?"

"We have to not be seen, _."

You looked at him and furrowed your brow. "But wouldn't it be easier if we just asked them about the myths?"

Axel thought about it for a minute, then struck his face with his open hand. "You're right. Superiors can be so dumb sometimes..." He smiled and laughed.

You suddenly felt a need to retaliate - wasn't Xemnas a superior?

"Not Xemnas."

Axel stopped laughing and looked you head-on. It gave you cold chills. "What did you say?"

You began looking down at your feet again. "...Not... Xemnas..."

He chuckled. "And why do you say that? Look up at me, please."

You looked up but avoided eye-contact. You looked anywhere but Axel's smiling face - the walls around you, the fence, the zipper on his coat, anywhere. After a minute, he asked again, "Why did you defend Lord Xemnas?"

Your lips formed a tight line. "I don't know."

"Look at me, please. Eye contact is appreciated between friends."

Friends? You hardly knew the guy! Was this his way of trying to get you to open up? To force you to believe you were friends?

"Now, friends can tell each other anything at all. Why were you so quick to defend Xemnas?"

You shook your head and looked down again. He chuckled and stood outside the door to the usual spot, looking in and listening.

* * *

The rest of the mission continued with jabs from Axel about why you defended Xemnas and trying to tell you that he was going to be hurt if you didn't tell him. But each time you told him to drop the subject. When he finally said, "Ok, I guess it's time to RTC," you couldn't have been more relieved.

"Here, I'll walk you to the dark corridor. I'm staying here for a little while longer."

You turned to him and said, "I have to meet someone here, so I won't be going in for a little, too."

"Ah... who are you meeting?"

"Why are you staying here?"

At this, Axel turned away, and you could hear the pain in his voice. "Nostalgia." After a minute of just standing there, and you being unsure of what to say, he turned back around with a grin on his face. "I'm going to go and get ice cream, do you want to go with me?"

You looked around, wondering what to say. Would Xemnas approve? What if he got here and didn't see you? "Uh, no thanks..."

Axel's mood fell. "Really? You don't have to stay with me... I'll buy you one anyway! C'mon. You deserve it after all of my rude questions."

So he _did_realize how rude he was being? Before you could think further, he grabbed your hand and began to run to where you realized was the train station. You remembered an ice cream shop being built into it for tired parents with fussy children.

Axel bought you and himself a sea-salt ice cream pop. He grinned as you took your first bite. "Good, huh?"

"It's salty... but sweet, too."

Something in him clicked. "Someone I know said that, too." You were about to say something to try and get him off that feeling when he continued, plastering a fake smile once again on his face. "Well, you have to meet someone, and I have to go somewhere, so, I'll see you tomorrow, huh?"

You chuckled nervously. You'd rather not. "Uh... right."

He waved as he left you in the lobby and dashed to a door labelled "Employees Only." You cocked your head and wondered how a Nobody got that much personality without a heart. Were his memories of emotions really that strong? Or was he really just not a Nobody at all? Axel was one odd fellow, you knew that much.

But now your mind turned back to Xemnas. What did he want? Had you done something wrong? Had you done something right? Or was he just checking in on you?

You figured that if he wanted to check in on you, that he'd just call you into his office back at the castle. It wouldn't make sense for him to just want to randomly meet up with you after work in some random place to ask you how you were doing and just leave.

If you had done something wrong, it was likely that he would call you into his office as well. On top of that, you hadn't done anything, so you thought.

If you had done something right... maybe he had a reward? It's probably this option, because the others just don't seem right for a meeting in Twilight Town. But what had you done? Were expectations so low that everyone had expected you to fail the first few weeks? That thought made you angry, or so you thought, but, no... Xemnas wouldn't do that. He expected the best from everyone, even you.

"Excuse me ma'am, are you in need of assistance?"

The sudden voice startled you. You turned around and assumed a fighting stance instinctively, but dropped it when you realized it was just the woman running the front counter.

"You've been standing here for quite some time... would you like directions?"

You blinked a few times. Why had you been startled by such a scrawny little thing? From the corner of your eye you noticed melted ice cream on the floor that you had accidentally flung when you assumed your position. You reminded yourself to eat it before it melted.

"No, I'm sorry... I'm waiting for someone. I'll meet them outside."

Without another word, you sped out the door and sat on the brick steps outside the station, looking around at the peaceful, tranquil setting. You licked the ice cream... yes, it was still as delicious as before. Your thoughts wandered, and you found yourself smiling as you thought of Xemnas.

Soon enough, a dark spot opened up and Xemnas walked through it, spotting you sitting on the steps leading to the entrance of the train station. A bouquet of roses were held in his hand (were those your reward?) but he frowned. "How long have you been waiting?"

You popped the stick from your long-gone ice cream out of your mouth and replied, "Not long."

"I'm sorry for keeping you waiting." He looked down sheepishly at the roses. "I got these for you." He walked forward and stuck them forward towards you, offering them. You could have sworn his face had taken on a slightly reddish tint... Wasn't that called blushing? You'd only seen real people blush before.

You stood up and accepted them. Sniffing them, they smelled wonderful, and you made a mental note to put them in a vase when you got back to the castle. Xemnas scratched the back of his neck, chuckling nervously with his deep, manly voice. You hadn't seen him act like this - not ever. Most of the time, he just smiled a lot when he was around you, and made you laugh a lot. But you'd never seen him be so shy.

"You like them?"

You nodded. "Yes, they're wonderful. Thank you."

He smiled and said, "I'm glad." He looked around, and when he looked up, he stiffened. "Great..."

"What is it?" You followed his glance up to the top of the clock tower and noticed a black dot sitting on the top of it. You squinted as you tried to focus and see if it was who you thought it was, but they suddenly got up and ran around to the other side, and Xemnas cursed under his breath.

"Let's go take a train - we're being watched here. I want to go somewhere private."

This thought made your stomach flip for some reason. It had felt uneasy before, but now... you were a nervous wreck. "A... train...?"

Xemnas nodded. "Yes. Come with me." His natural, stoic figure took over as he grabbed your hand and rushed you inside. He bought two tickets hastily and ran for the train as it was about to leave. From the corner of your eye, you saw a red streak - so it _was_Axel. He called out.

"_! Superior!"

Xemnas turned his head to look, but continued on. He stepped in the train, and pulled you in just as the doors shut. Axel, huffing and puffing, looked in through the glass at you two.

"What are you doing, _?"

You didn't know what to reply, but you stood there dumbly, looking at him. He pounded on the glass.

"Why do you open up to _him_and not me!"

Silently, Xemnas brought his hand around your shoulder and pulled you tighter. You looked up at him briefly and saw he was angry. Your hand that still held your flowers shook, and the thin plastic protecting the roses from the elements made rustling noises. You felt your face pale. What was happening? Why was Axel so angry?

Axel happened to notice the flowers then, and he pounded on the glass. "Dammit, XIV! What do you think you're doing? He's just going to - " the train whistled once, " - and then he'll just - " the train whistled again, and started to move, Axel moving with it, " - it's no good!"

You called out, "What did you say?"

Over the roar of the engine, he shouted, "I said, he's just going to -"

He ran into the station walls. The train was out of the station and moving to wherever you and Xemnas were headed. Shaken, you trembled, and Xemnas pulled you in for a hug.

"What... what did he say?"

Xemnas just petted your hair. You sat down and continued to be petted like that, shaking, trying to keep the roses quiet. Once you reached your destination, Xemnas pulled you up and walked with you outside of the station to reveal a few little houses and a large, grassy hill that overlooked the sunset. You both headed there.

"I think he's just upset."

As you plopped down and set the roses beside you, you asked, "Upset about what?" You had calmed down significantly by now. Being around Xemnas seemed to have that kind of effect on you... you just wanted to feel happy. But you couldn't shake this feeling.

"I while ago, someone Axel felt close to became rogue. We haven't been able to track him down. He was much like a parent to him, raising him from the time he came into the organization to the time he left."

"Axel was close with another Nobody? But I thought we couldn't feel like that?"

Xemnas chuckled. "That's sort of a thing I'm starting to think isn't possible. First there was Axel and... that boy. And then there's me and you."

You smiled. "And also me and Demyx."

Xemnas' eyes widened, and he looked away, at the orange and red sky. He swallowed and said, "Right."

You turned, not knowing about how crushed he felt, and looked at the sun. You smiled and giggled.

Depressed, Xemnas asked, "What?"

"I'm just glad to be here for some reason. I'm happy to be with you."

Xemnas was silent for a while, but he smiled. Eventually, he turned to you again, and, noticing it, you turned to face him, too. He was smiling. His eyes, complimented by the last few slivers of sunlight left in the sky, glowed, and his skin seemed to have paled in the now-apparent moonlight.

"Yeah?"

Without a word, he leaned in and pressed his lips to yours... Were you being kissed? The smell of his skin heavy in your nose, you pressed back gently and closed your eyes. His hand reached to your hair, petting you, but differently than what it was like on the train. This time, it wasn't supposed to be comfort... it was love.

This sudden thought snapped into your mind and your eyes flew open and you jumped up onto your feet. Xemnas pulled back as well, face paler than before, still laying on the soft grass.

"I'm sorry, _... I'll leave you - "

"We can't feel love, can we?"

Xemnas, startled by the question, sat back on his hands. "We aren't supposed to... but that was what I was talking about before. I don't think it's true... I think we can feel love. Because when I'm with you... I feel things." He pulled one hand in front of his face, flexing it, turning it over. "I feel... happy. I feel... anxious." He looked up at you. "I feel love."

You stood, looking down at him. It was unusual for you since you were ordinarily towered over. "Is love when your stomach is doing flips and is uneasy?"

Xemnas looked away. "That's one way... it's different for different people." He looked back up at you. "When I talk to you, my head feels light, and I just feel like I'm going to explode if I don't do something... but I don't know what."

You sit back down, fearing you may topple over if you don't calm down. "Did you... kiss me?"

Xemnas looked down. "Yes..."

You leaned forward on your hands towards him, and decided it was your turn to kiss him. You pressed your lips against his, and he eagerly pressed back. You noticed that that feeling in your stomach escalated, the flippy feeling, but you liked it. When you finally pulled back, your face felt warm. You took off your glove and felt your own cheek.

"I think I have a fever."

Xemnas took off his gloves too, and delicately touched your cheek with the back of his hand. "No... that's just you blushing." He smiled.

You turned away, and covered your face. "Oh, no! Don't look!"

He chuckled. "Calm down. It's cute." That just made you blush more, but you ignored it, hoping it would go away.

By then, the sun had completely set, and the stars were all around, with a full moon. You leaned back to lay down on your back, looking up at them. Xemnas followed suit. He grabbed your hand, and you two lay there like that for quite a while.

Next thing you knew, you were awoken to a kiss on your cheek and being lifted into the air. Xemnas was picking you up. He whispered in your ear, "Come on... let's go home." A dark corridor opened up and he stepped through with you in his arms. You fell back asleep, knowing you were in good hands.

* * *

The next morning, you awoke and found Demyx waiting for you in the main room. "Hey, _! You're alive!" He rushed over to you with that same goofy grin. You smiled. "We're paired together today, so you have to tell me why I ended up sleeping on the couch last night waiting for you while we're out. Tell me everything that happened. Who were you meeting anyway? Did you stay with Axel? We had this one kid who used to do that but he's not here anymore and - "

Demyx continued. You sighed as you summarized things he was saying in your head. His back hurt because he fell asleep and woke up on the couch waiting for you. His sitar was dirty because he fell asleep without cleaning it because he was waiting for you and playing it at the same time. He wanted to know who you met. He wanted to know what happened to one of the vases from the cabinets in the kitchen - did you get flowers? He wanted to know why you looked so tired. Demyx was smarter than he let on to be.

"I'll tell you later, Demyx. After our mission we'll hang out, ok?"

He pouted. "Why can't you tell me now?"

You smiled. "Because you haven't earned it! You have to work for my information! Now where are we going?"

He sighed, defeated. Slumping, he replied weakly, "Wonderland."

"Alright." You opened a dark corridor and you both stepped in.

The day continued, and throughout it, you told Demyx about the day before, and Xemnas. As the day pulled to a close, you both RTC'd, and he continued interrogating you, sitting in your bedroom. He sat backward on a chair and you laid down on your bed, smiling, looking at the ceiling.

"But I thought us Nobodies couldn't feel anything?"

"Xemnas thinks that we can feel when we feel love."

"But how can we feel love if we can't feel it when we don't feel love?"

Confused, you looked up at him, and saw him grinning at you. You simply stated, "Doofus," and laid back down, chuckling. Becoming serious, you replied, "I really don't know. I guess it just... happens."

Demyx smiled and laid his chin on his knuckles. "That's odd, _."

He was about to say something more, but a knock was heard at the door. He looked up, disheartened, and you looked at it, too, and called, "Who is it?"

Muffled, you heard Axel's voice reply, "Your fairy godmother."

You looked at Demyx, who was already looking at you, shocked, concerned. He asked softly, "You want me to talk to him?"

You shook your head. "Come in, Axel."

Axel opened the door slowly and stepped in. He saw Demyx and said bitterly, "I thought you'd be with our superior."

You looked down at the ground. Before you could say anything, Demyx stood up and approached Axel.

"Hey, man, you know, you really got her upset. What did you do that for? Look at her. She can't even look at you without wanting to leave the situation right then and there! She wants you to leave her alone." Demyx poked Axel in the chest with his index finger and mocked him. "Got it memorized, dude?"

Axel glared at him. Demyx kept up the tough act until Axel grabbed his wrist, kicked the door shut behind himself, and flung him into the nearest wall. Your face drained of all color. You stood up to go and see to Demyx, but Axel stood in your way.

"You're setting yourself up for failure. He's telling you false things, he's going to use you. You act just the way Roxas did, and I know that you have emotions, or at least, he's fooling you into you thinking you have emotions, he's just going to hurt you and leave you on high grounds at low tide. I wanted to _warn_you, but obviously, you've got your other little thing on the side here to show me I'm not welcome. So I'll just let you crash and burn. When things turn wrong, don't come crying to me, Rookie."

And with that, he stormed out, leaving you to stare at where he was just a moment ago, burning bright in the darkness. You thought about what he said - was he right? How did he know what Xemnas was going to do to you? How did he know how Xemnas felt? Just because that kid (didn't Axel say his name was Roxas?) left him high and dry in a time of need didn't mean he was some genius when it came to foreseeing bad things in love. Roxas... you feel like you've heard that name before...

You snapped out of your trance and ran out into the hallway, about to shout to him, tell him to come back and answer your questions, but he was already gone. You looked back into the room and saw Demyx passed out, slumped against your wall. You ran to him and kneeled beside him.

"Demyx... Demyx, wake up!"

You shook him, and eventually, he came to, groaning.

"Ugh... _... What happened...?" He clutched his head and winced. Suddenly, he got up and screamed, "Axel!" Looking around and seeing he was gone, he turned back to you. "What happened?" You recount the entire speech to him, and he starts to run when he falls to the ground.

You picked him up and put his arm around your shoulder, helping him walk. "Here, I'll take you to your bedroom. I'll go to the infirmary and grab a few - "

"No, take me to Axel."

"Demyx, if this is what he'll do to you when you're completely healthy, imagine what he'll do to you in this state! The only place you're fit to go is to bed."

"_, I have never before in my life enjoyed a fight. But right now, I am about to show Axel a piece of my mind... He won't get away with it!"

You stared at him, concerned. "Demyx, not now. Let me handle this. You'll get your chance once you're healed up."

"But - "

"No. No buts."

Suddenly, Demyx pulled off of you and stuck his hind-end in the air. "No, asses everywhere!"

How did he know how to make it awkwardly hilarious around this joint?

You and Demyx laughed loudly on the way to his room. You continued to support him, and when you got to his door, he limped on in, you two still giggling. No matter what happened with Axel, or Xemnas, or whatever, you always had Demyx. Demyx would always be your friend, you knew that.

You sat by his bed to make sure he didn't run off when you weren't looking. This was your fight, and yes, it was sweet that he wanted to stand up with you, but it just wasn't what was supposed to happen. He wasn't involved yet, but if he kept up the way he had when Axel had intruded, he would be soon enough. And it wouldn't be pretty.

"Hey, _?"

Demyx's thick, sleepy voice sucked you out of your thoughts. You focused back on this world, not just the world of your thoughts, and you replied, "Yeah, Demyx?"

"Take care of yourself, kay, Rookie?"

You smiled. "Yeah, sure, Demyx." You reached over to brush a little hair out of his face, but he turned around to face the wall, and soon enough, you could hear his breathing deepen and slow down, and every once and a while, a soft snore would escape, and you knew he was sleeping peacefully.

Standing up now, you knew you had a bone to pick with Axel. You gentley shut Demyx's door behind you to find Axel standing right by the door. You jumped, and he began to talk, very loudly.

You hissed out, "Shhh! Jesus, Axel, he's asleep! You're lucky he doesn't have brain damage!"

Axel mumbled something under his breath.

"What was that?"

Axel glared at you. "Nothing."

You glared back. "We need to talk. Where do you want to go?"

He heaved a sigh. "My room's closer. Follow me."

You nodded once and stared darkly at the plain white halls as you followed him obediently. After a few minutes, he exhaled and scratched the back of his neck. "This honestly wasn't how I was hoping to get you to open up. But you've become less zombie-ish after all of this... You say more than three words to anyone."

"That's something I wanted to talk to you about. What is your deal with trying to get me to open up? I mean... Why do you specifically have to get me to be more open with my personality? Does it have something to do with Roxas?"

You could cut the tension with a knife. Axel stiffened, but continued to walk.

You reached his room, and he still hadn't replied. He turned around and opened up the door. With a flourish, he ushered you in, saying, "Rookies first." His face was icy and cold, a glare set in stone that wouldn't budge. You just nodded and allowed yourself to do what he told you to do.

His room was dark. You reached for the light, but he said, "No, please leave it off... I have a headache." You just sighed and groped for a chair to sit in. Axel flung himself at the bed and stared at the ceiling.

You sat in the darkness, waiting for an answer to your questions. To any of them... As you were about to open your mouth, he finally spoke up. "So, what do you want to know?"

"There's a lot I want to know. But what to ask first..." You stared off, thinking. "Why do you think Xemnas would lie to me about his feelings? Or his lack of feelings? Let's start there."

Axel flipped over on his side so that he could look at you while he was talking. You avoided his eyes and looked down at your feet, nervous. You really thought that you could feel... but what if Axel was right? What if you were just fooling yourself? What if Xemnas was fooling you to take advantage of you?

"Lord Xemnas is as emotionless as it gets. If you haven't noticed, most of us still seem to act like we have emotions. It's just a way to go through life. We instinctively go through the motions, the more so we do it, the more it's to cover up the real numbness. When Xemnas speaks to us about anything, he rants, uses angry gestures, waves his arms around. It's a desperate attempt to feel whole again."

You stared back in the gloom. "Or maybe he actually feels now, and has the urge to be outspoken about it."

Axel shook his head. "If that was the case, he'd keep it a secret... he'd use it to keep power over any of us. He wouldn't go around spouting this nonsense to everyone. You've only been here a few weeks, so you don't know the real Superior. It's just a ruse to get you connected to the Organization, so that you'll never want to leave, as long as he keeps this facade up."

"Why would he want to keep me here?"

Axel shook his head. "I wouldn't know. If anyone does, it's Saix. But I wouldn't approach him about it, because he's a loose-lips when it comes to the Superior."

"Alright... then tell me about Roxas next."

Axel turned back onto his back and stared at the ceiling for a while. He obviously didn't want to talk about it. You took his silence as a, "Stop bothering me about that."

"No... you don't have to talk about it... here... just tell me... Why did you call Demyx my 'little thing on the side?' What does that even mean?"

Axel flushed. "I was just being..." He searched for a word.

"... A jackass. Stupid."

"I still don't know what it means. What does it mean?"

Axel's face got even brighter. "You're close. Too close. Like two little kids in grade school that have crushes on each other and play side by side all the time. An innocent love."

You wondered silently if that's what he had had with Roxas. An innocent love... Maybe you'd just ask Demyx about it. But you went on with your next question, getting off of Roxas, who you didn't even know what looked like. "Why did you feel the need to connect with me? To get me to open up? I remember last night you screamed, 'So you open up to him and not me.'"

Axel continued to stare up at the ceiling. He folded his arms behind his head. "I act as a mentor most of the time. Or at least, to our past few members, I was. I'm the kindest, friendliest guy. The others are too cold, unconcerned, or just plain ugly with rookies like you, Rookie." He turned around to face the wall. There was a drawing taped onto the wall, the only thing that decorated the room at all. You couldn't tell what it was of, but apparently, Axel was very fond of it, staring into it until you cleared your throat.

"I'm tired, _. I'm going to bed."

You stood up, feeling bad, seeing Axel sink into a pit of lonely memories. Whatever happened to Roxas must have really effected Axel, to make him fall into this kind of depression whenever he thought about him.

"I'll see you tomorrow, VIII."

Axel waved his arm and continued to stare at the wall. You opened the door with a creak and shut it as quietly as you could.

* * *

After a few glorious weeks of work, then Xemnas, then Demyx, and just being happy in general, you were sitting under a very large leaf in Wonderland with Xemnas, rain pouring, but you are sheltered and warm with the company of each other.

Suddenly, a stray heartless came along, spotting you two as easy prey. Xemnas scoffs at the puny thing. "That thing thinks it can take _me_? Lord of _Darkness_? Hah!"

You giggled alongside him and curled up into the warmth of his chest, where you thought that if you could listen hard enough, you'd hear a beating heart somewhere. Xemnas played with your hair and you stayed like that for a few moments, lost in your love. In the back of your mind, you thought, Axel, this is true. This is genuine. I don't know how... but it is. It just is.

Xemnas stopped playing with your hair, but you didn't mind. He sat with you there for a few minutes more, looking around, but you didn't notice the stressed expression on his face.

You looked up at him, "Xemnas, what's wrong?"

He placed his finger on your lips and shushed you. "Look."

You looked back out onto Wonderland, and saw that the one puny Heartless had gathered up a sea of others, and together, they all stood, staring at you two, looking ready for a fight, clicking and clacking about like the insects they resembled. Their beady yellow eyes glowed in the rain, standing out from their black bodies.

"Oh my god..."

Xemnas stood up, helping you up in the process. His hair brushed against the bottom of the leaf you had found shelter under for the downpour. It was heavy under the weight of pooling rainwater, and that gave you an idea. You turned and whispered to your Superior.

"On the count of three, we'll hit the underside of this leaf and it should send water everywhere."

Xemnas looked unbelieving at you. "But you'll get wet!"

You frowned. "I'd rather be wet than dead."

Xemnas' face got red, but he nodded.

"One... two... three!"

You jumped up and hit the leaf just as Xemnas smacked it as well. A waterfall of clean, purified water poured, and the Heartless scattered like cockroaches, trying to find their bearings. You and Xemnas stepped out from underneath the leaf, already drenched and not caring. You both quickly noticed that that only got them angry as they began to swarm again and form a tight circle around the both of you.

Xemnas stepped in front of you, the torrential downpour making his cloak stick to his tall form. "I'll handle this."

"Are you kidding me! There's got to be at least a thousand!"

He looked over his shoulder at you. "Hurt yourself and I'm killing you."

You sighed. You'd have to fight your way back to the dark corridor that you two opened, because these heartless weren't going to be going away without what you learned to be a keyblade. Apparently, Roxas had been the only member to ever have a keyblade, and without him, the organization's main mission was to track down his Somebody, Sora, who could wield a keyblade, and turn him to work with us.

A flash of light blinded you for a moment, and then, what you saw from Vexen's notes and observations, there was indeed a keyblade on the ground in front of you. You typically used a bow and arrow, but... was there a keyblade wielder nearby?

You looked around, and Xemnas was staring in disbelief at the keyblade lying in front of you, and he too was looking around to see whose it might be.

Out of morbid curiosity, you picked it up. It was black, with a red handle, and fancy script in a different language writing on the side of it in gold. You looked around you at the rain-soaked forest.

"Whoever owns this keyblade, come out now!"

You looked around, and the only thing moving was the Heartless, who seemed to be just as shocked at the sudden predicament as Xemnas and you. They shifted uncertainly, not sure what exactly would happen. But, they began to realize you weren't doing anything, a still-target, and you tensed for battle, keyblade clutched tightly in your hands.

"_, how can you wield that!"

"I don't know... but right now, I know there's an ass-ton of Heartless that messed with the wrong Nobodies!"

"Heh... got that right."

You fought your way through the sea, side-by-side with Xemnas, until there were none left. You stood, panting, and you turned to face Xemnas. He smiled widely, but before your mind could register any of the sinister-ness behind it, your knees gave out, your head became dizzy, and your vision clouded. You collapsed in on yourself, the keyblade lying beside you, blending in with the dark muck of the forest floor. Xemnas gasped, and you shut your eyes. He was beside you, and he turned you over and held your head in his lap. He looked down at you, looking you over, seeing for any damage.

You groaned and grabbed Xemnas' shoulder, trying to get up. "I just over-worked myself... I'm fine..."

Xemnas protested, "No, _, you're not fine. You just fought an ocean of Heartless with a weapon you've never used before and then collapsed."

"I'm fi - " Before you could get the word "fine" out of your mouth again, your legs caved in again, but this time Xemnas was there to catch you. He commanded you to grab onto his neck, and you did, feeling like Jello. He then scooped up your legs and reached for the keyblade, to have it disappear into white light again and appear on your limp figure. He simply accepted it and, in the still-pouring rain, walked back to the dark corridor with you in his arms. The bladed end of the keyblade pressed against your cheek, but didn't actually pierce your skin - it was more of a club than a sword.

"_, you've got to be more careful. And now that you have the keyblade, you're irreplaceable, so don't go getting yourself into situations like this!"

"But wouldn't you want that... if I can collect hearts?" You reply weakly, taking deep gasps of breath.

"I'm more worried for your sake... Kingdom Hearts will finish at some time, and now that we have you, it's guaranteed that it will finish and we'll all get our hearts eventually, but for right now, you're the best heart I have, and if anything were to happen to you, I'd never forgive myself."

You smiled and rolled your head towards his chest, listening to the rain patter against the leather of both of your coats. Your fingers were becoming numb with the cold, but you kept them pressed against the back of Xemnas' neck, which kept them warmer than before. He didn't mind, it seemed. He smiled, but your eyes were closed, and you couldn't see the sinister glow to it reappear as it had before you had collapsed.

Once on the other side of the dark corridor, you could hear the others around you stop what they were doing. The sound of Demyx's sitar was quickly cut off.

"Just put me on the couch, please, I'll be fine."

"You need to go to bed, _."

Axel was the first to speak from the other members. "Rookie, what happened?"

You took in a deep breath again. "I fought a bunch of heartless with the keyblade..."

There was silence, and then you heard Axel's footsteps approach you. His shoes were the only noise other than your breathing. You felt him touch the keyblade, heard him gasp, and ask, "Where did you get it?"

Xemnas spoke up before you could. "She's pretty exhausted, we should let her rest."

"Put me down on the sofa, Xemnas. I'll go to bed soon, but let me talk to everyone." He looked down at you. "I'll try and get out of bed if you put me in."

He snorted, but figured it would be better to not have you falling out of bed and displeased. Demyx and Xigbar moved from the couch, Xigbar and Luxord having abandoned their card game. Demyx sat cross-legged on the floor by your head; everyone else assembled a circle around the white couch, peering at you curiously. Axel, Demyx, and Xemnas seemed to be the most concerned. Larxene was flat-out annoyed, but seemed to still be curious as to what was happening.

You recounted the tale to everyone, and half the room seemed to want to vomit at the romantic stuff, the other were jumping out of their socks with excitement - a new keybearer had been found for their purpose of filling Kingdom Hearts. Axel was the only one who looked down in horror at the black keyblade and your face filled with love and excitement. When Xemnas looked over at him, he was neat to hide it, but you saw everything.

Most people went back to what they were doing before the two soaking-wet figures stepped into their main room, the smell of fresh rain in their hair, Xigbar and Luxord taking their game to the kitchen table on the other end of the castle. Saix would occasionally glare at you, but you didn't mind. He was just jealous of how close you were to his Superior with only being here a month or so, and now that you held the keyblade, you were sure to be his favorite, if you weren't already. He'd get over it eventually.

Demyx was all smiles as you groggily proclaimed, "Ok, I'm going to bed," and attempted to get up.

"Here, _, let me help you." Demyx pulled your arm around his shoulder. He looked over to Xemnas who drifted over and pulled your other arm up around his shoulder. Shakily, the three of you began walking to your room.

Demyx chatted happily, his mouth going a mile a minute. "You're doing great, Rookie, you know? Geez. Who would have known you'd ever be able to wield a keyblade? Kinda odd how it just kinda appeared though, don't you think? And now you've gotta get good at it even after you got good with your bow. I thought you looked pretty cool with the bow, but the keyblade's even cooler. But never as cool and my sitar and me! My sitar is bad-ass, and everyone knows it. Heheh. And so are Superior's light sabers, too, of course."

A faint smile showed up on Xemnas' lips as you kept walking. With the occasional nod of the head or "mmhmm," you kept Demyx happy with his jabbering. Your body felt less like Jello at this point, and more like it had a structure again.

When you reached your room, with the crudely drawn sign on it saying, "_'s Room," Xemnas left you to Demyx. He opened the door and Demyx walked you to your bed, where your soggy hair hit the pillow, and you felt like you were going to fall asleep at that exact moment, but Xemnas carried on with a typical rant of his: You should be more careful, sleep better, blahblahblah, you're going to work yourself to death, blahblahblah, you're very important. Blahblahblah. Blahblahblahblahblahblah.

In the middle of one of his sentences, you sighed. He sighed. "I'm sorry. I'm just keeping you up."

You smiled. "And pissing me off."

"Ah. That too." He stooped down and kissed your forehead. "Good night." He turned to Demyx. "Don't keep her up too much longer. I know you're going to want to talk, just don't make it an hour."

Demyx nodded. "Of course, Lord Xemnas."

Xemnas nodded back and left the room.

Demyx pulled up a chair and sat on it backwards, like he had before when Axel threw him against the wall. So far, Axel hadn't shown his face, but you supposed he'd show up soon enough with lunatic predictions and whatnot.

"Rookie, you're getting good." He smiled as he pulled some of the hair out of your face. "Now we know that Xemnas won't turn you into a dusk if you break up."

You snorted. "Thanks for the words of encouragement."

"Awww, shoot," he smiled and leaned back, "you know what I'm saying. You're really, really important now to all of us. We don't have to go chasing around Sora anymore. We can allow him to do his thing and you do yours and we still finish Kingdom Hearts."

You smiled at him. Demyx chuckled and returned the chair to your desk. He stood back around, and you, your eyes barely able to stay open, requested, "Demyx, what do you know how to play on your sitar?"

He looked confused at the random question. "Lots of stuff... why?"

"I dunno. I've never really listened to you play... I've just heard you tune it and the noise the strings make when you clean it."

"Want me to go and get it?"

You nodded. "Just don't take too long, I might be asleep when you get back."

He shook his head and dashed out of the room to go and get it. You rolled around onto your back and stared at the ceiling, wondering if you'd be able to stay awake? Hopefully the light on would help you. It was weird, but you suddenly had this weird urge to listen to Demyx play his sitar.

You closed your eyes but kept your mind working, as best you could. Occasionally you'd drift off, but managed to jerk yourself awake each time. The one time you heard your door open, your eyes were shut. Demyx exhaled sharply and spoke softly to himself.

"What am I gonna do with you?"

Even though you made no efforts to show him you were awake, he shut off the light and pulled the door ajar, leaving just a little crack of light from the hallway to light the darkness. He dragged the chair over, and you heard him start plucking away, and softly singing.

"_, your eyes like stars in the sky,  
To complement Kingdom Hearts.  
You who makes my heart fly  
Soar up high in the clear blue sky.

It amazes me, _, how I  
Could have a friend as great as you  
It's a friendship no one could buy  
Because it's priceless to me, ooh.

Axel might try to rip you apart  
But I'd piece you back together  
Although I'm afraid your heart  
I'd never be able to turn back into a heart

I'll probably never sing this to you  
If I do I'll probably sound terrible  
I hope that doesn't make you blue  
Because I'd be blue, too.

I just want to tell you,  
You mean so much to me  
I hope I mean a lot to you, too  
But I'd never get the courage to tell you."

He plucked a few more strings and let the last note fade into the dark walls surrounding you. He sighed, put the chair back, and left. Your mind told you that yes, Demyx has a heart, too. He has a good, strong heart. You finally let yourself fall unconscious, letting the last note simmer in your brain, the last note from the heart.


	2. Part 2

You happened to wake up in the night. Looking over at your clock and seeing you've only been asleep for two hours made you groan and roll over, to see a shadowy figure sitting right by your bed. You jumped and almost screamed until you noticed the familiar silhouette of Axel's hair wave around as he rushed to hush you.

Your face was sweaty and you felt a familiar burning in your face, like when you blush, but somehow different. You look over at him and hiss, "What the hell is your problem, Axel! I'm sleeping!"

"I was waiting for you to wake up so I could talk to you."

You propped yourself up on your elbows, then sat up completely, slumping and staring at your bedsheets. Your hair was still damp and now frizzy against the side of your face. Your keyblade was on your nightstand. All around it was dark, with the occasional patter of rain against your window.

"Well, talk. What is it, Axel?"

"Your keyblade."

You looked at him blankly. He stared into you. He was just as horrified as he had been when you'd first RTC'd. His eyes were large, the pupils large, the irises glowing green in the night. The spikes in his hair were flattened and matted from where it appeared he had tried to go to sleep.

"What about it?" On the topic, you reached over and grabbed it, feeling as if Axel might go psycho and grab it and stab anything in sight. Of course, it should eventually disappear in that white light and appear by your side, but who knows what would happen in the seconds he had it. The cool metal felt nice when pressed against your open palm.

"It's not real. Xemnas is manipulating you. You remember when we talked that night a few weeks ago?"

"Oh, yeah, the night you threw Demyx against the wall." You nodded to the spot where Demyx had been flung and left an indention on the wall.

Axel huffed. "That's beside the point. I've apologized and worked it out and we're friends again. I'm trying to help you, _!"

"Then how is the keyblade not real?"

"It's not a real keyblade! You should've been able to wield it from the time you appeared as a Nobody. It doesn't just magically appear a few weeks later and decide that you're it's owner now!"

You began raising your voice. "I've had enough with your crap, Axel! You're making ludicrous claims that you can't even back up!"

"I can back it up if I want to!"

"Then back it up! Give me evidence - how do you know for absolute certain that the keyblade doesn't do that?"

"Because that's not what happened to Roxas!"

"That's just one person, how do you know it's not possible? I'm sure Sora didn't come out of the womb with a little toy key in his hand, rearing to beat the living senses out of Heartless!"

"Sora's a real person - you're a Nobody, for Christ's sake!"

You realized you'd been shouting at each other. You took a sharp breath in and looked away. Axel realized what had begun happening, too, and looked away as well. You mumbled to yourself, "Sometimes I really wonder what's the difference between a Nobody and a Somebody..."

Axel sternly replied, "Somebodies have hearts. We don't. End of the line."

A dark, cloudy silence slithered its way into your throat. You didn't want to talk anymore. But you did anyway. You spoke the harshest thing you could. "That means you don't care about me. You don't have any friends. You weren't mad just then. You didn't care about Roxas, either."

Axel looked up at you. His hands were shaking, and he clenched them into tight fists. A few embers flew up behind you, and you knew he was enraged, if that was even possible, but he was as enraged as he was ever going to be.

"Roxas was the only one who made me feel like I had a heart."

You saw something fall from Axel's face. You peered closer and realized it was a liquid. In wonder, he touched it, and stared at the wet dot on his glove. You gasped.

"Are you crying, Axel?"

He looked up at you, then turned and fled. Apparently, a crowd had gathered outside of your door, which he shoved right through. A few voices could be heard calling out to him, but he ignored them and ran on into the shadows of the castle towards his own personal sanctuary.

You got out of bed and ran into the hallway, ignoring the crowd as well.

"Axel! Axel, get back here!" Your mind very much awake by now, you jolted down the hallways, your sock-covered feet making soft padding noises. You heard bare feet and other socked feet follow yours, padding and smacking against the cold, hard, white-tiled floors. The first voice you heard was Demyx.

"_! What happened?"

"I'll explain later!"

Marluxia came in. "Was Axel crying?"

Demyx answered for you. "He was covering up his face, so yeah, I'd assume so." He took a few breaths and you rounded a corner; they followed behind you, uncaring that you had no idea where you were going. "She must have hurt him pretty bad! I didn't even see any of the typical flames, so maybe she got one good smack on him and that was all it took."

You briefly looked back. Demyx was smiling. Xigbar was rolling his eyes... no, eye. Marluxia and Lexaeus were stoic.

You frowned and continued gazing ahead, searching for any possible clues as to where Axel was going. "We didn't lay a hand on each other. I don't know why he's crying. We're not supposed to be able to cry unless we're hurt, like animals. Right?"

There were few gasps, and a confirmation from Xigbar.

You kept running like that for a while, until finally, Marluxia ran in front of you (pretty much everyone was taller than you, therefore had longer legs, therefore ran faster than you) and halted you. You were breathing heavy, and your face was likely to be red. The four men all agreed that you should head back to bed.

"Rook, you aren't going to be finding him anytime soon." Xigbar patted you on the shoulder, calling you your new nickname, short for Rookie, as you looked down at your feet.

Marluxia said, "He'll show up soon enough, and all of this will be sorted out. Until then, there's nothing we can do."

Demyx nodded. "That's right. He'll show up eventually. And besides, _, you're supposed to be resting. You'll be in no fit shape to go out on missions tomorrow if you keep up like this."

At that moment, the clunk of Saix's shoes could be heard echoing from down the hall. You all stared down at him, and unflinching, he continued up your way. He scowled at you all. It appeared as if Saix hadn't been to bed yet - his blue hair was messed up and there were dark circles underneath his yellow eyes. His cold voice was heard over top of his clunking shoes.

"There's no need to worry about any missions tomorrow. Superior has proclaimed a day of vacation for all of us in celebration at the coming of a new keyblade wielder. Or, it's more likely that he just wants to make sure that Rookie here gets her rest and doesn't die on us." He squinted and stood still a few feet away from your group. A stare-down commenced between you two as he continued, "Or maybe he just wants a whole day to spend with you, and decided to use the pretense of a vacation day to get that."

Demyx shouted at him, "Hey, Saix, no need to be a sore loser! We all know you're the teacher's pet, but there's no need to get on _ about how he's more connected with someone he just met than you, who he's known for years!"

Saix shouted loudly, but kept a straight face, his eyes flickering to Demyx. "You stay out of this, you lazy-ass space-head! You don't have a leg to stand on when it comes to wanting to connect with someone and being jealous when they don't!"

Demyx summoned his sitar. "You wanna say that again, bastard?"

"I have no need to fight you, it'd be like fighting a child!" He looked over to you and smiled menacingly. "Or like fighting _."

Demyx yelled and dashed forward, trying to slam his sitar into Saix, who grabbed the turquoise instrument and held him at bay for a moment before slamming him into the nearby wall. Xigbar, Lexaeus, and Marluxia seemed too shocked to do anything, but you, on the other hand, began screaming, "Stop it, you two!"

Neither of them payed attention, fighting it out. Saix punched Demyx around, and Demyx waved his sitar wildly, thrashing about, and occasionally screaming, "Dance water, dance" and summoning water clones to beat up on Saix.

After a while of this, Lexaeus seemed to be the only one to snap out of it and began yelling at the two as well. Unfortunately, they still wouldn't listen, and you decided to finally take action and summoned your bow and arrows, the weapons you were good at, and shot one in-between the two's feet. This brought Saix to your attention, looking up from beating Demyx's head in. Demyx took this opportunity to punch Saix in the nose. Blood gushed from it, and Saix yelled, holding his face.

Demyx stood back and shook his hand, grimacing. "Damn, gotta remember not to do that with my hand." He flexed it a few times and decided he was alright.

You screamed, "Demyx!"

He looked over, confused. You ran forward to Saix, who was still screaming profanity and bleeding from his face. Before you could examine the wound or see the hurt on Demyx's face, Saix removed one hand and slapped you hard on the face, and you tipped, your face stinging, to the right, where you stumbled into Demyx, who caught you and hoisted you back up. You rubbed your face, shocked, not knowing what to say.

Saix ran off in the direction he'd come from, still holding his face, but making less noise. The noise of his shoes echoed off the walls and ceilings of the big empty castle, just as empty as everyone inside of it was supposed to be. You figured the castle was a metaphor for you Nobodies, emotions and thoughts and memories echoing and resounding inside of you, sometimes making it outside to cause chaos.

"_, are you alright?"

Demyx shook you lightly, but you were still shell-shocked, and just stared blankly at where Saix had just been, where he stood when he had slapped you. A few drops of blood were left as a trail, and you suspected they'd lead right to Xemnas' office, or bedroom, it really depended on whether or not he was still working.

"_. _, please answer me."

"Rook, look at us."

Lexaeus spoke up over the pleading to get you to say something. "She just went through a lot. Let her have her silence. She'll speak when she's ready. Isn't that right, Rookie?"

You looked over at Lexaeus, who was usually stony and silent, but now smiled gently, like a big brother protecting his sibling. Without thinking much, you nodded.

Marluxia grabbed Demyx's shoulder, and Demyx jerked around, still jumpy after the tussle with Saix. Marluxia spoke to him, "You need to go to the infirmary. Let Xigbar and Lexaeus take Rook back to her bedroom."

"B-but... what if Saix shows up again? What if he hurts her? Dumb bastard..."

Xigbar stepped up to the plate. "We'll cross that bridge when it comes. But for now, she'll be fine with us. Go get yourself healed up and go to bed, Demyx. It's been a long and exhausting night for all of us. We have vacation tomorrow, so you can figure these things out then."

"Ok..."

Xigbar and Lexaeus began walking you down the way Saix had taken, and Demyx was quick to follow, but Marluxia tapped him on his shoulder. "Demyx, the infirmary is this way."

Demyx whined, but did as he was told, sulking. You looked back at him, unsure what to think. The song he had played when he thought you were asleep began to ring and echo in your head, just like Saix's shoes had done just a few mere minutes ago in the Castle That Never Was.

Your cheek hurt where Saix had slapped you. You wondered if it was going to swell, but you didn't care if it did. It was just a curious thought that you quickly silenced. The walk back to your room was long and slow, your mind wandering and brushing along Axel and Saix and Demyx and Xemnas, and even the keyblade. The trouble it had caused in just one night was amazing.

When you got back to your bedroom, Xigbar and Lexaeus guided you in to your bed. They both said goodnight and left, sure that you'd be out in no time. They were right.

* * *

You were walking the dark halls, lost in a sea of blank darkness, when a familiar glowing red light appeared from far away. You ran towards it and saw that it was Axel, creating dancing flames to spread light and warmth in the cold black. He looked up at you and tears were a constant stream from his eyes, contrasting heavily to the flames that seemed to consume all of the horror around you. He smiled, and said, "The fake brings trouble. Got it memorized?" He turned into a horrible beast and lunged towards you, covered in prickly red hair, clawing at your chest.

You awoke with a start. A little bit of light filtered in through your window, but not much. Your clock told you it was 6 am. You groaned, and figured you wouldn't be getting back to sleep soon, so you got up and showered and changed into clean clothes. By the time it was seven, you were done with all of that, and you roamed through the castle dumbly, trying to find any signs of what happened to Demyx or Saix. Your face hurt from where Saix had slapped you, so you knew it hadn't been a dream. Axel really had cried; Demyx really had broken Saix's nose; you really had screamed at Demyx for doing so when he was just trying to defend you.

You somehow made your way to Demyx's room. You knew it was his because of the official nameplate on the door, and his own Hollywood star drawn on a piece of paper and taped to the top. Your nameplate was yet to be finished, so for now, all you had was the crude sign mentioned before.

You stood for a minute, slouched, staring at the star, wondering whether you should go in or not. You were about to decide against it until you heard a few noises coming from inside - Demyx was awake. The hair on the back of your neck stood on end, and you pressed your back against the wall right beside his door, praying he wouldn't come out and see you. But, as all stupid ideas come, they must also go. Demyx walked out of his bedroom, shirtless, and stretched. He yawned once and scratched his face. You noticed he was covered in blue, purple, and green bruises, standing out on his pale skin, one even standing out from his face - a black eye. You gaped, and luckily enough, he didn't turn around and see you as he shuffled to the bathroom nearby.

You looked down at your feet and wondered how you were ever going to apologize. He had gone through that, and you yelled at him. Hopefully he wouldn't be mad at you...

As the bathroom door began to open again, you panicked, but took on a casual look by leaning against the wall and twiddling with your fingers. Demyx shuffled out of the bathroom, still looking a little groggy, but brightened when he saw you, even smiled.

"Hey, Rook. Crazy stuff going down last night, huh?" He chuckled. "I wonder how the Superior is gonna react when he sees me and Saix. Or maybe he already has. You gotta throw in a nice word for me, ok? That suck up is gonna twist it to where he was just an innocent victim."

A lump formed in your throat. You swallowed, but it didn't go away. You just kind of moved your mouth, trying to talk. Finally, you struggled out, "O-ok..." Feeling embarrassed and angry with yourself, you stared down at your feet.

Demyx exhaled. "You alright, Rook? You look pretty tired."

"Yeah, I kinda am, but I had a nightmare, so..." You shook your head.

Demyx walked forward in his bare feet and flannel pajama pants and peered down at you. You looked up at him, then back down guiltily.

"You wanna tell me what happened?"

You sighed. "Demyx, I wanna apologize. Last night, for yelling at you."

"Hey, Rook, look up at me." You looked up, and felt the urge to look back down, but didn't. His eyes held you in place, his eyebrows furrowed, his mouth frowning. "Don't you ever apologize to me for something like that. You were right. I shouldn't have taken a cheap shot at him like that."

You attempted to swallow down the lump in your throat again, but it still wouldn't budge. You felt your face burn with embarrassment.

He laughed to try and lighten the mood. "But you gotta admit, he deserved it. I won't let him hurt you, _." You looked down at your bare feet, just a foot apart. He sighed and opened his arms up. "C'mon. You know you want a hug, Rook."

You looked up at him, your mood not changing. "But, Demyx... you got hurt."

He smiled. "What did we discuss before? No buts."

You smiled. "Asses everywhere, Demyx."

"Aww, that's the spirit!" He pulled you in for a hug, and you felt comforted by the sleep-warmed skin. When you separated, he opened his bedroom door. "I hope you don't mind that it's a complete mess in here. Now why don't you tell me about your nightmare?" You chuckled and headed in.

* * *

Most of the day you stayed with Xemnas in his office. You ended up explaining all of what happened the night before, and he decided not to punish either Saix or Demyx.

"But if it happens again..." He growled and returned to his paperwork.

"So, vacation days are never really vacations for you, huh?"

He looked up at you. "What do you mean?"

"You're working even though everyone else is out enjoying themselves, or staying in and sleeping. Why don't you go and do what you want to do?"

He smiled. "Because being with you is all I want to do. As long as you're here, it's a vacation day for me."

You smiled back and allowed him to become immersed in his calculations and research.

After a while of just chatting, a knock was heard on the door. Xemnas swiveled in his chair and announced loudly and officially, "Come in."

It was Demyx who peeked his head in. At the sight of his black eye, you began to feel guilty again, but it dissipated when he smiled at both you and Xemnas. "Hey, Superior. I was wondering if I could borrow _ for a while."

Xemnas looked over at you from the corner of his eye. "I suppose I've kept you cooped up in here all of your vacation day, huh, _? Absolutely, Demyx. Take her somewhere nice, will you? When I get back, I'll be waiting, love."

You sighed and shook your head. "You say that like it's a bad thing. I'll see you when I get back." You stood up and pressed a quick kiss to his lips. He held your head close, and you kissed him again, somehow finding something in you to chuckle. You chuckled for a minute before Demyx cleared his throat. You turned around to face him and said, "Ok, let's go." You blushed bright red.

* * *

He ended up taking you to Twilight Town. You secretly looked for Axel. He came here every day after his mission to have ice cream on top of the clock tower at the train station.

"Hey, Dem, you seen Axel today?"

Demyx shook his head. "Nope. Not once."

"You think he's gone missing?"

"No. Last time we had a vacation day, he slept through it. I'm guessing that's where he is now." You were about to protest and go find him, but Demyx cut you off. "We're not looking for him. Give him some space, Rook."

At that moment, your stomach gurgled loudly, and you wrapped your arms around your belly, blushing again. Demyx just laughed.

"Sorry... I didn't eat much today and I guess it's finally hitting me."

Demyx looked around. "Well, there's not much here. We don't want to get too much, otherwise your stomach'll hurt..."

The taste of sea-salt ice cream suddenly came into your mind. Salty but sweet. You had an urge to get some. "C'mon," you said, "I know just the place." You'd also get to see if Axel was there or not.

"Where are we going?"

"You'll see, just come on already!" You smiled and began walking towards the train station.

He huffed and rolled his eyes, but he was grinning, so you knew Demyx was coming.

After you got your ice cream, you nodded towards the door labeled "EMPLOYEES ONLY" that Axel had run in after he'd gotten you your first ice cream. "We're going through there and up to the top of the clock tower. I'll race you up the steps!"

And with that, you went off running, Demyx laughing and following. "No fair!"

You proclaimed loudly, "Life isn't fair! Get used to it, Dem." You laughed, and opened the door, dashing up the stairs that started immediately.

Panting, red-faced, you made it to the top first. You stopped to put your hands on your knees and catch your breath. Demyx made it up shortly after. It was a miracle neither of your ice cream pops had been flung off the stick during your little race.

Demyx took a quick bite before he began to lead you to the front of the clock tower. He stopped and exclaimed, "That's good!" You laughed and nodded, still out of breath, but took a bite anyway.

He took a step forward and rounded the corner. He jumped back and gasped. "What the - ?" Fearing something was there, and hoping maybe it was Axel, you jogged forward with what little strength you had left, but found absolutely nothing. Just Demyx standing there.

"What's wrong?"

"There's ice cream sticks. Two piles, right there in the corner." He pointed and walked forward, and you noticed. One pile had writing on them, and one pile was plain. Upon inspection, you found the written ice cream sticks had the word "WINNER" printed on them. Some were extremely faded, some were only a few days old. You looked down at your feet and thought that this was probably Axel's doing.

Demyx looked over and saw you. He bumped your shoulder and said, "Hey, what's got ya down? They're just ice cream sticks!" He laughed. "Not like they're gonna attack us!" You continued to stare down at your feet, and he exhaled. "Fine then. I guess I'll just eat your ice cream, then."

Putting on a fake mask, you smiled and drew your ice cream back, licking the entire thing. "Nope. Now it's mine."

Demyx rolled his eyes and smiled. "Like a couple of _ germs are gonna keep me from ice cream." He bit another piece off of his and plopped down on the edge, looking over at the ground below for a moment and freaking out. "God, I hate heights. Why am I up here again?"

You plopped down next to him. The concrete was warm with the evening sun. Unafraid, you turned around and faced outwards, looking down at all of the little people and trees and things below you. "Because I'm brave enough for both of us."

"Pfft. I'll show you." Demyx hesitantly swung around, and whimpered when he looked down. When he returned to look at you, he noticed one eyebrow arched. "Y-You see? I'm brave."

"Look down again."

"W-why?"

"Chicken."

"Fine then. I'm a chicken. Can I summon a water clone to do it for me?"

"Hahah, no." You smiled and shook your head, looking at the sun. You understood at least part of the reason why Axel comes here to eat ice cream. There was a gorgeous view that not even a Nobody could not care about. Thinking about Axel made you sad again, and you felt your eyes fog over as you sank into the back of your mind, looking through the sunset and hills, to escape for just a few minutes.

There was blankness... an empty page waiting to be written, just sitting back there. But you blinked a few times and returned to the world around you and saw that everything was as it should be. You felt whole, just sitting there, eating ice cream with Demyx.

You gasped and almost fell off of the clock tower when this came to attention in your mind. Demyx grabbed your hood and pulled you back so that your hind end hit the concrete behind the edge - hard. You gasped and rolled over on your side, a little tear forming in the corner of your eye. Below, a distant SPLAT! was heard; your ice cream had fallen out of your hand and just now landed at the bottom. You would have been the one going SPLAT! if Demyx hadn't grabbed your hood.

He turned around and hopped off the edge, kneeling beside you as you groaned and tried not to hold your behind. The tear that had formed before ran its way down your face, and Demyx had his free hand out, like he wanted to touch or do something, but couldn't decide what.

"Oh my god, _, you ok?"

You groaned out, "No..."

"What's wrong? What hurts?"

You blushed as you considered even telling him. But you figured you would have to tell him anyway, and it would be better to just get it over with. You groaned and turned away. Great...

Demyx leaned in closer. "What is it?"

"My behind..."

"What?"

You screamed, "My ass, ok? I think I broke my ass!" More tears formed in your eyes at the embarrassment and harassment that was sure to come with a broken ass.

Demyx turned redder than a tomato. "O-oh... I just... What do you want me to do?"

You lay there on your side, heaving every breath, thinking. "Give me a minute... hopefully it'll get better and we can just go home."

Demyx stayed red, but then suddenly grabbed at his head, "Oh, Jesus! What am I gonna tell Superior? I broke his girlfriend's ass!" He looked down at the ground. "I should just jump! Oh, god, I'm gonna get DESTROYED!" He sat with his head in his hands.

You huffed. "Not your fault. I'm the one that's so damn fragile. Yesterday I pass out, today I break my ass while almost falling off of a building. He's never gonna let me out of the castle unsupervised!" You saw him smile a little. "And do you know how much crap I'm gonna get from Xiggy about a broken ass! He'll laugh his own right on off! And so will the rest!"

Demyx whined and placed his head on the edge, tilted side ways to look at you. "Feeling any better?"

"No. Just get me the hell outta here."

"How?"

"Help me up, first of all. And stop pouting, it's not your fault. I wouldn't let him hurt you."

Demyx rolled his eyes. "How are you supposed to stop him with a broken ass?"

"Ha ha ha. Help me up or I'll tell him you tried to push me off."

At this, Demyx flung himself up and grabbed your arms. You groaned at the movement, but you knew that any movement for a while would hurt. You chuckled, and he angrily said, "What's so funny?"

"You're taking this all so serious. Demyx, you're my friend. Do you honestly think I'm going to purposely hurt you?"

Demyx let out a harrumph, opened a dark portal, and helped drag you into the main room, where, thankfully, the only person sitting around was Lexaeus, who seemed sympathetic when Demyx explained how you ended up breaking your ass. He ran off to find Xemnas while you lay on your stomach on the couch.

Soon enough, you heard voices (other than Demyx's panicking) coming from the hall, and the familiar clunk of shoes... but were those more than two pairs you heard?

You looked over and saw Xemnas staring in horror at you lying facedown on the couch, Lexaeus stoic as ever, and...

Oh Jesus. _Xigbar_.

His scrunched-up smile told you all you needed to know. The look on your face made it worse for him and he just smiled even wider.

"Pfffffttt - "

You glared at him. "I hate you."

He burst into laughter at this. He laughed until there were tears in his eyes. Once he was FINALLY done, he stood up and wiped away a tear. "Ohhh, god, I needed that." And walked away contentedly.

You groaned and smacked your face back down into the couch cushion. "Kill me now."

Xemnas was steaming, and you could tell from the tone in his voice. He growled and then yelled at Demyx, "HOW THE HELL DID _THIS_HAPPEN?"

Demyx hid behind the couch and whimpered, "She almost fell off the clock tower at Twilight Town and when I grabbed her hood to keep her from falling she fell back on her behind."

"... On concrete?"

"Y-yeah..."

You looked over at Xemnas. "It wasn't his fault."

"Why did you go up there, anyway?"

"Because I wanted to see the view."

Xemnas face-palmed. "What am I gonna do with you?"

You rolled your eyes. Lexaeus, who so far hadn't said a word, watched as Xemnas paced. You exhaled. "Yeah, yeah, I know, fragile flower, blah blah blah. Put me in a butt cast and send me to my room and never let me see the light of day again."

At that, Lexaeus cracked a smile. You walking around in a cast diaper would look pretty hilarious. At that thought, you almost started laughing, but tried to keep a straight face as Xemnas continued pacing. He finally gave you his smile.

"I swear, if you don't stop getting hurt, I will consider that."

You smiled. "Well, either way... I needed a few days to train with the keyblade anyway."

Demyx had finally found the courage to step out from behind the couch. "A few days! You think a broken ass will heal that fast!"

"It damn better. I'm not going to be trapped in my room. I refuse it."

Xemnas came back into a serious light. "Well, you probably are going to need to stay off of your behind for at least that time. And then we can start thinking about getting you up and about."

This was so comedic. By now, if this were some hilarious TV show, Demyx would be poking your butt asking if it hurt. The thought made you choke up with laughter. Xemnas knelt beside you.

"I'm trying to be serious, but you can't stop laughing about your own injuries. How am I supposed to get anything done around here?" This just made you laugh harder. He sighed. "Here, let me take you to your room..." He turned to Lexaeus. "Thank you for getting me, Lexaeus. And thank you for being the only one other than me who hasn't laughed at _'s broken ass yet."

Lexaeus held a neat poker face. "Not a problem, Superior."

Demyx cut in. "Hey, I haven't laughed yet!"

You looked up at him, pouting. "Yeah, you were pouting over thinking you were gonna get destroyed. 'I broke Superior's girlfriend's ass! Ahhh!'"

He sighed and slumped over. Lexaeus walked over and patted him on the back, smiling. "C'mon, Dem, let's go."

"Wait, Demyx, come see me tomorrow after work, ok?" You didn't want to be totally bored ALL day.

Lexaeus and Demyx both turned around. Demyx just nodded, and Lexaeus replied, "I think you'll be getting a lot of visitors. Nobody's ever managed to break their ass in the Organization. And with Xigbar knowing firsthand about it... Expect everyone to know by tonight."

You groaned. "Greeeaaat..."

Lexaeus chuckled and they both left, leaving you alone with Xemnas. He smiled and helped roll you over, then picked you up in his arms. You kissed him, and he smiled. "This feels oddly familiar."

Sarcastically, you replied, "Hmm, wonder why." You kissed him again, but suddenly heard a new voice clear their throat. Xemnas jerked around with you in his arms, jolting you, and making you wince in pain.

"VIII."

Axel!

You looked over to see Axel standing, staring. You turned bright red and cried out, "How long have you been there?"

He huffed and acted cool. "Eh, the make-out fight was just getting started."

You sighed. At least Axel didn't know that you broke your ass... and he was ok. That was always a good thing.

"So, how'd you break your hind end?"

So much for the first thing. You felt your face burning as Xemnas replied, "She almost fell off the clock tower in Twilight Town. Demyx pulled her back and she fell on it."

"Ah, Demyx..." Axel, with a sly grin on his face, walked towards you two. "You spent your vacation day with Demyx?"

Angry now, you snapped, "Part of it! But it's none of your business who I hang around with anyway!"

"Speaking of which, this is your only warning, Axel. If you are caught sneaking on _, or anybody else for that matter, you will be punished."

Axel rolled his eyes. "I'm just trying to look out for you, Rook." And walked away.

You screamed, "Then stop it!"

Axel laughed once and continued out.

Xemnas' lips formed a tight line. "I swear, this Organization is falling apart at the seams."


	3. Part 3

It had been a few days, and you were already sick of your room and always laying on your stomach. But the time you got to spend with the other members really helped lighten the mood. Even Larxene was nice to you, even though you suspected it was just because she felt sorry about you breaking your ass. I mean, how many people do that? The only members you _hadn't _seen were Saix, which was to be expected... and Axel.

You, as usual, laid on your stomach, and picked at a flower Marluxia brought for you. It smelled of sunshine and fresh air, something you'd been missing. A lot of members had brought you flowers, but none really compared to Marluxia's. He just had a green thumb that no one else could come close to.

Demyx sat with you, tuning his sitar, humming an abstract tune to himself. You were glad because Xemnas let him off easy this week so he could spend more time with you. Xemnas, however, was increasingly busy, but spent as much time as he could with you, filling you in on how plans to track down Sora were going.

You noticed Demyx had stopped humming, and you looked away from the little daisy you held in your hand to see Demyx staring right through the floor. His mind was elsewhere.

"Dem?" You tried it a couple of times, starting to get worried something was wrong, but after the third "Dem" he snapped his head up to see you. His face went red - Demyx blushed too? - and he chuckled.

"Demyx, what happened?"

"Huh?" He smiled. "Oh, just thinking." And with that, he turned back to his sitar, and you continued to pick at the flower curiously. After a few minutes of comfortable silence, Demyx spoke up. "What would you do if I died?"

You turned your head to look at him. "What in the world made you think of that?"

"I dunno... I've just been thinking, and it just kinda came to me... What would you do? Would you miss me if I got destroyed by Sora or someone else?"

"Well of course I would, Demyx." You smiled and returned to the flower, glad that he got that off of his chest.

"You know, you never heard me play."

You looked over at him, and, still remembering his song, played dumb and simply said, "Hmm?"

"You were asleep that night I went to fetch my sitar and you wanted to hear me play. Do you still wanna hear?"

"Well, why not?"

He cleared his throat and began to pick out a flowing tune on the sitar. You had no idea if he wrote it, or if it was something he'd heard in his traveling, but either way, you thought it was beautiful.

"The bright red blossom  
Fills so many hearts with joy  
Pretty little bud

The late-bloom blue  
Is delicate and lasting  
Withstanding the cold

The purest white bud  
It glows with outstanding light  
Keeps away the dark

When the red, blue, white,  
When they have all gone away  
The gold will erupt

The golden flower  
Has only been found with death  
But grants eternal  
Happiness."

He looked up and his face was dark red. He smiled but said, "Aww, it was awful, wasn't it?"

You laughed. "No, Demyx, that was amazing! Did you write that?"

"M-Maybe..."

"Aww!" You attempted to get up and hug him, but he was quick to stop you.

"No, no, no, _. Vexen said that the bone'll set wrong if you move around a lot. Lay back down."

You whined. "Awwwww, c'mon, Dem, I just wanted a hug. It's not gonna kill me."

"Hmph. No, and that's final. I was the one who broke your ass - "

" - No you didn't."

" - and I'm not gonna get the blame if it's never right again."

You sighed and rolled your eyes. You slumped back down and laid your head on your arms, giving him puppy eyes. "But I just wanted a huuuuug."

"No. Vexen says that you need to stay as still as - "

There was a knock on the door, and at that moment, the older, scientist stepped in. Demyx smiled at you. "Speak of the devil."

Vexen, unaware and uncaring, simply stated, "I need to ask _ a few questions about her condition."

Demyx looked at your clock. "Hmm... seems it's time to head out, then. I'll send someone with your dinner, 'kay, Rook?"

"Mmkay." You lay indifferently on your bed, staring at the sheets. "See you later, Demyx."

"See ya." He smiled at you and picked up his sitar, closing the door behind him. Vexen sat down in his place, and a forced smile came to his lips.

"How are you feeling today, _?"

"Babied."

Vexen sighed. "I meant in your condition."

"My ass? Yeah, still hurts."

"The pain killers should be ready in a few hours, so you'll be able to take that instead of typical aspirin. I'll get those to you once they're done. Now." Vexen stood up and helped you up as well. You were less sore, that was for sure, but little movements still caused you pain. He set you up in some funky position, and then spoke you to. "On a scale of one to ten, one being not any pain at all, and ten being the worst pain you've ever felt, how much pain do you feel right now?"

One leg was propped up on the bed, and your arms were spread out. It felt ridiculous, but apparently it was a part of the research. "Um, seven."

Vexen wrote it down on a little pad and then helped you into several other positions, and asked you the same question. In the end, your average was seven and a half, which was slightly lower than the eight you averaged several days ago.

"Well, that's all I needed, thank you for participating, _."

"No, thank you, Vexen. It's great that you're helping me like this."

"Ah, it's no problem." The smile was less of a force and more of a reflex this time. "Is there anything else you need?"

"Well... Have you seen Saix or Axel lately?"

"Yes, I have. Saix is still giving us our missions, and Axel..." He thought about it. "Axel, I haven't actually seen. But Marluxia told me about how he'd been paired with Axel for a mission. Axel had had an awful temper and had ended up yelling at Marluxia for some little thing, yes, I remember."

You groaned. "Oh, great, what's his problem now?"

Vexen shook his head. "I don't expect it's anything of your concern. Those two have never gotten along together, and I only heard Marluxia's side of the story, so I suspect it was a little tipped in Marluxia's favor."

"Well, if you see either of them, would you send them my way?"

"I won't make any promises, but I'll do my best."

"Thanks."

"Now, remember what I said before and stay like that for as often as you can. We want you up and running as soon as possible, little keybearer!" He chuckled reflexively and exited. Xigbar came in with your dinner, and the two of you chatted for a little, and for the rest of the night, you saw no one else, feeling the sinking loneliness that set in every time nobody else was in the room.

* * *

The next day, sometime in the afternoon, you woke up to, "Little Rookie, wake up. You wanted to see me?" You yawned, and, remembering not to flip around onto your back, you instead propped yourself up on your elbows and saw that Saix had finally made his way into your room. A tray with breakfast was on your nightstand, your keyblade proppped up against the far wall.

"Sorry for waking you up, but you said you wanted to talk, and this is probably going to be the only free time I have today. Also, I bring news from Axel as well. That was part of the reason why it took me until now to get here." Saix held up an unmarked envelope, and you took it silently.

"Saix, please tell me, what problems do you have with me?"

Saix's lips formed a tight line. "I am merely jealous, just as Demyx said the other night. I have been trying to win approval with the Superior ever since I joined this organization. I've managed to make it to his right-hand man. Then you came along, and Xemnas was smitten with you. You were perfect for him, in more ways than you think."

Your eyes flicked over to his, and you saw that his expression remained purposefully blank, but his eyes flickered with hatred and disgust. "Are you referring to those lunatic ideas Axel gets? He talks down to me about how disappointed he is that I fell for a fake keyblade, and Xemnas is using me for some unknown reason. But if I ask him about Roxas, he just freezes up. He refuses to tell me anything even though I'm more than cooperative with him. So tell me, Saix. Is Axel telling the truth?"

Saix looked away. "The truth is not for me to know. Only time will tell whether it is true or false, these guesses Axel have made. They're certainly possible. You can never trust any one, you understand?" Saix stood up. "Even a best friend would turn their back on you if it would mean they would gain. Now, I bid you goodbye. I'll leave you to read what Axel has to say in peace."

And then you were alone.

Nervous, you tore open the envelope. You pulled out a handwritten note that read as follows:

_Dear _:_

I will tell you about Roxas. I don't think I'm able to do it to you in person, and besides, I've been very temperamental the past couple of days. Just trying to start this letter I've already burned three pieces of paper in anger at not knowing how exactly to tell you about everything that went down.

Roxas was my best friend. Every day after work we'd go up to the top of the clock tower in Twilight Town and eat sea salt ice cream. I basically raised him, I looked out for him his entire time with the Organization. I'm assuming you saw my pile of ice cream sticks up there when you broke your behind. I'm also assuming you were looking for me, but didn't find me. Just the ice cream sticks. That is my way of counting the days.

The Roxas I know is gone. His entire memory was wiped clean. He ran away from the Organization searching for his past. Now, here's the kicker: Roxas was Sora's Nobody. But Sora's still a human, right? Yes, he is.

Sora became a Heartless for a short period of time. As you know, when a strong, capable heart like Sora's is consumed by darkness, it will split into two beings, a Heartless and a Nobody. Sora was consumed by darkness for a long enough period of time for Roxas to be created. When Sora turned back into a human through unknown methods, Roxas still remained, but had absolutely no memories to speak of, because they were all still in Sora.

You see, memories are like chains. When a Nobody is created, the chains of memories remain. But Roxas' were still in Sora, so Roxas was left to be a keybearer with no memories of who he used to be. He went out to search for his past, but his past found him, and he became reunited with Sora without his consent, from what I've been able to tell.

After I learned this, I found my own agenda to work on. Those ice cream sticks are what tell me how many days it's been since Roxas has been gone. They're so that I can tell Roxas how long he's been away when I go to Sora and make him into a heartless again. That is my own personal goal. I will go and kill Sora to create Roxas again.

What you said may very well be right. Maybe we do have hearts. But I think we're just fooling ourselves into believing it. The entire subject is confusing, and I don't like confusing. I just know that it's harder to feel them there than it was when I was somebody. What I know now are mostly just reflexes.

Or maybe what Lord Xemnas said is correct as well. When you're in love, your heart comes back to you. It's seemed to work well for you. Before you ever really realized that you were in "love" with the Superior, you were just a zombie. But that's the way Roxas was for a while as well.

That's also why I felt like I needed you to open up to me. A secret part of me wanted you to replace Roxas, to fill in the hole where he was. I realize this wasn't exactly fair to you, and I apologize.

I know you're also wondering about the night I was in your room. Yes, that was a tear. I was crying. I ran away and cried all night. It was scary, at first. I thought I was dying, just the feeling of it all, it was insanity banging against my brain.

Thinking back on it... I think you are right. We do have hearts, I guess. We've maybe just fooled ourselves into thinking we don't have hearts. Yes, I think that's what I'll believe from now on.

I am now unsure of what to think about you and the Superior, your keyblade, whether this is all legitimate. I suppose that if I believe we truly do have hearts, that would cut down my entire defense to the fact that Xemnas is using you. Even so, something just doesn't feel right about it all.

I'll give this off to Saix and wait a few days for you to decide what you want about me. I'll come visit you. I'd like to ask that, no matter what your decision about me may be, that you don't tell anyone about my plans to kill Sora and create a heartless of him. It would have me turned into a dusk, or just simply destroyed. You must understand, please, that I tell you it because I trust you won't tell.

Sincerely,  
Axel

You read the curious letter three times, absorbing all that you could. Roxas... you wondered if he looked like Sora. Sora seemed so innocent. Maybe he hadn't known that he was taking away Axel's friend... I doubt he did.

Or maybe, the thought occurred, he thought that because you were Nobodies, you couldn't have friends, you couldn't have connections and wants and needs? That you were lower than animals?

And what was that about a decision? To let Axel in and still be your friend, if he ever was? You supposed that you should.

Saix's nose had looked a bit crooked, but you paid no mind to that. You grabbed a cold piece of toast from the tray, nibbled it, and went back to sleep.

* * *

In the weeks that passed afterwards, you collected hearts, and grew closer to Demyx, and let Axel in. You and ended up moving into Xemnas' room with him, making seeing each other easier than before (Xemnas stayed busy, especially with you and the keyblade, calculating how long it would take Kingdom Hearts to fill up). Axel never spoke of his quest to kill Sora again, and you never told anyone about it, not even Demyx.

Axel still went up to the top of the clock tower in Twilight Town to have ice cream. You left him to his private rituals, but you became just as fond of him as you did Demyx. Every time the three of you were together, a spark would fly in his eyes and he'd be happy as a lark.

Everything was at peace.

The day started as any normal day. You were paired with Axel to take down a particularly tough heartless in Agrabah. As soon as it was taken down, Axel turned to you.

"Rook, you remember my letter?"

"Letter... The one you sent after Demyx and I had been up on the clock tower?"

"Yeah. You remember how I told you that I wanted to kill Sora?"

"Yes. And I never told anyone. Now's an odd time to be asking."

"I wasn't asking. I'd be dead already if you had."

"Then what _are_you asking?" Your keyblade disappeared from your hands as you began to walk slowly back to the dark corridor. It was a moment before you realized Axel wasn't moving. You turned around to face him. "Axel, come on. It's time to go home."

Axel shook his head.

"You... Axel, no, come on. We have to RTC!"

Axel shook his head again. "Not for me. I have to leave if I want to get Roxas back. I'm asking you to keep another secret for me."

You gritted your teeth and felt your hands clench into fists that would have cut into your palms with your fingernails if you didn't have gloves on. You began screaming, "Roxas, Roxas, Roxas. Is that all we are, me and Demyx? A substitute for _Roxas_? And now you're telling me we aren't even good enough for you?" You summoned the bow and arrows you'd neglected for a good while.

"No, _, it's not like that!" He took one step away backwards away from you. You saw the hesitation and , like an instinct, pulled back on one of your arrows, but stopped yourself from letting it fly.

"Of course not, of course not. You know I can't just let you leave. Maybe we're not good enough for you, but you're good enough for us! If you wanted Roxas, maybe you should have fought some sense into him, just like I'll fight some sense into you if I need to!" You shot a warning arrow in-between his feet and pulled another one taut on the string.

Axel summoned his chakrams and pulled them up to guard his body. "I won't fight you, _."

"Fine, then!" You angrily shot an arrow right at Axel's torso. Axel moved his chakrams to protect himself. "You're a chicken. Either you'll fight me and prove that you want Roxas more or you'll come back to the castle to with me and prove that Roxas is _gone!_" You stretched another arrow on the string and flung it at Axel. He blocked, and you stepped forward. "Which do you want, Axel? Do you want to lose more friends, possibly be destroyed, and your precious past? Or do you want a kind, loving home, where you've managed to remember Roxas but not be obsessed by his haunting memories?" You shot another arrow, Axel dodged.

"You make this unfair on me!"

You shot another arrow, and you knew it was going to get you nowhere, but it helped fuel your fire anyway. "Unfair? That's bullshit, Axel. You've been dwelling on Roxas since the day he left. You can't just sit down and cry over something and expect time to stop and allow you your grievances." The clang of the metal spearhead on his chakrams became louder as you continued to move forward and he moved backwards. "You have to pick yourself up and move on! You've had more than enough time to grieve over the loss of Roxas, and I'm not telling you that you can't still think about him and miss him. I'm telling you that you can't live in the past and believe that he's going to come back, because who knows what'll happen when you kill Sora? Who knows if your Roxas will come back? He probably won't remember any of what happened when he was a Nobody, meaning he won't remember you!"

"I don't care if he doesn't remember me! If he's the Roxas I knew then he'll return to that the Roxas now!"

Arrow after arrow, block and dodge after block and dodge. It had gone on for a few minutes. Finally, you stood still, and your bow and arrow disappeared into thin air.

"Whew... Finally, I'm glad you're going to - "

"Oh no you don't." You summoned the keyblade. "I'm just switching weapons. Axel, you aren't leaving. It would devastate Demyx and myself. You're the one who's being unfair. You're doing exactly what Roxas did, aren't you? Both of you running off to the past. It got Roxas killed. What'll happen to you? Would you want to leave Demyx and I in your positions?" You ran forward and tried to land a strike on Axel, but all you managed to land on was his chakrams. He shoved you off and you gripped the red handle on your keyblade tightly.

"I would never wish that on anybody, especially not you or Demyx! You know that!"

You tried to hit him again. "_Then why are you leaving us for him?_"

You bounced right off of Axel again, and he drew his chakrams up to his face and twirled them, sending a spiral of red-hot flames your way. You easily dodged, and Axel let the chakrams drop to his sides. He stopped shouting. "I would let you and Demyx come along with me. We could all three leave and get Roxas back, and then the four of us could be our own group. But I figured you wouldn't want to leave Xemnas or the Organization. I don't want to risk your life. If you were to leave Xemnas, imagine the rage! That's the whole reason why he pounced on you romantically when you were first created - to avoid you running off like Roxas did, and then when you got the keyblade, it just made the deal even sweeter to him. And Demyx... he wouldn't want to come without you." He fiddled with his chakrams, then looked back up at you, but you didn't see.

Your vision was blurred, and your face felt wet. You looked up, but the sky was clear as it ever was. It never rained in Agrabah, it was a desert, stupid. You looked back at Axel and his figure danced in your vision. You blinked, and something came out of your eyes. You took your glove off and touched your face. "Is this from me? Is this water from my eyes?" You looked up at Axel. "Am I crying?"

He replied flatly, "Yes."

This made you angry. Axel made you cry... He made you cry, and now he was just going to leave. You ran forward, and with all of your might, threw the keyblade at Axel. It missed by about a foot because of the tears in your eyes that messed up your vision. It landed with a dull thud on the ground, and it disappeared and reappeared in your hand. You continued running and just began slamming it into Axel, who continued to block with his chakrams. Clang, clang, clang, while you began to sob.

He was right. Xemnas had trapped you, made you so attached to the Organization that you could never leave - him or it alike. Either way, he'd have probable cause to eliminate you without thinking twice. Demyx's song for you, the day you learned to use the keyblade, it was a silly song he wrote out of love. Demyx could feel now, you'd noticed that. All three of you, Axel, Demyx, and yourself, you could feel. Xemnas, however... it had started to get tiresome. But just as Axel said, you couldn't break up with him. You couldn't leave.

Still sobbing, you dragged the keyblade off of Axel, your strength to fight suddenly gone. It disappeared and you sat in the sand and curled up into a protective ball, still crying. You began to blabber your thoughts to him and eventually you managed to say, "You're right, Axel, you're right."

You turned over and laid on your side in your fetal position and kept crying. "Axel, don't go. I don't want them to destroy you."

Axel, who had simply stood there the entire time watching your breakdown, spoke the words as if rehearsed. "No one would miss me."

You sat up and screamed at him, "_I would!_That's what I've been trying to tell you this entire time!"

Axel turned and created a dark corridor of his own to some unknown world. "Then I'm sorry. I wanted to say goodbye one last time."

"Axel, no! This is suicide! What do I tell them!"

"I don't know. Tell them I just disappeared. Tell them the heartless killed me. Something. You're intelligent," he paused to look back at you with those burning green eyes, "Rookie. Take care."

You stood up and ran for him, but he disappeared into the dark corridor and sealed it before you could get through. You tripped and flew in the air, landing hard on the sand. You clenched your fist and began to sob again. You beat on the sand, but your punches never landed on anything hard, just sand, slipping right through your hands. "Axel... Axel, you bastard!" You beat on the sand some more, wishing there was something you could do.

One of the locals wandered into the square, even though it had been dark for quite some time. He walked over to your shaken figure and asked, "Ma'am, are you alright?"

Gasping and looking up at him, you saw the ignorant eyes of a passerby, someone who would never be able to comprehend the things you'd known since creation. You pulled yourself up and ran silently for the dark corridor. He shouted for you a few times but you ignored him. You didn't need to be seen. Not now. Not by anyone.

That was the last day you ever saw Axel.

* * *

Panting from running down the hallways, you finally made it to Xemnas' office. You knocked once and he said, "Come in."

Xemnas looked up from his paper work and saw that it was you. He blinked and immediately asked, "What happened? You haven't checked in yet, and neither has Axel. I was starting to get wor - "

"Axel's dead."

Xemnas stood up and approached you. "_, what happened to him?"

"The heartless killed him."

Xemnas hugged you and held your head close to his chest. The warmth was slightly comforting, but you couldn't feel the same comfort you'd felt when you first met him. Not anymore. It felt fake, you could feel just how fake it was. He loosened up and you looked up at him.

"_, what happened with your eyes?"

"Sand got in them."

"Did you still manage to destroy the heartless?"

You nodded and tried to keep the tears in.

"Well, at least you're not hurt. Come on, I'll take you to bed and I'll handle it from here."

You nodded again and let yourself be led to your shared bedroom. You felt disgusting as you allowed yourself to be tucked in by Xemnas, now that you'd stopped lying to yourself. You laid there for quite some time, until, later in the night, you had no idea how long it had been, Xemnas crawled in beside you and slept soundly, not bothered at all, while you pretended to sleep and rolled over and away from him, crying silently at the loss of your friend.


	4. Part 4

It had been almost half of a year since the "death" of Axel. You still had nightmares about it. You could have stopped him, you tell yourself this all the time... You tried, but your emotions, your heart... you felt that day, and it's lasted with you for half of a year.

You never told anyone about Axel. You were too afraid. You feared that he would be caught and killed, and you as well, and quite possibly Demyx because he was the only other person you were willing to protect. Demyx was the only person _worth_protecting any more.

Xemnas and yourself, as a couple, had slowly come apart at the seams for you. You felt every kiss, every touch, had lost its glow, the spark behind it was now a chilling wind that left you cold and disgusted. Every day you and Demyx became closer. You knew that he felt something for you, something real, something unlike Xemnas' "love."

But, still, Axel's secrets left you haunted. Once, you were out on a solo mission to track down Sora and his friends and to write a progress report: see about how many heartless he killed in a day, if he was anywhere close to finding you or the Organization, et cetera, et cetera. You had been out in the woods in Wonderland, trying to sniff out Sora's path, when you saw a rippling black coat and a streak of bright red from the corner of your eye.

Astonished, thinking maybe it was Axel, you chased after it, not daring call out in case any other person might have been near. But still, you chased and chased. You ripped away branches from your vision and tripped over roots, but it never deterred you from the possibility of seeing Axel again.

Stumbling, you made it to a large clearing, where you stopped, panting, trying to catch your breath and find where Axel went. You looked around, spotting very little clues as to where he had gone, but suddenly, he caught your eye. He just stood there, staring at you, cloak blowing with the wind. You ran forward, eager to see him.

"Axel! _Axel!_"

But just as you reached about fifty feet from him, you noticed his smile wasn't his, and a mischievous gleam took from his eyes, and... they were never blue before!

He disintegrated, and you found yourself staring at none other than the Cheshire Cat, who continued to smile, as if that was all he could do. He twirled in a little circle, and floated into the air above your head.

"My, my. Quite a believer in phantoms, are we not?"

You growled. "You dumb old bag of fleas! What the hell is your problem?"

He sighed a peculiar sigh and twisted in the air to be upside down. "My problem is a lack of entertainment these days." He touched one finger to your nose. "And what is _your_problem?"

You quickly snapped, "I don't have a problem."

"Oh, my my my! Temper, temper!" The cat twisted right-side-up and clucked his tongue. "Your problem, my dearie, is that you have ghosts of the past you refuse to chase down."

You crossed your arms. "And what ghosts of the past are you referring to?"

The cat smiled even wider. "Oh, don't play dumb-dumb with me. I took on the appearance of an old colleague of yours, who walks these woods often."

Your eyes widened, but you tried to hide it by quickly blanking your face. "Do you know where he is now?"

He played with a whisker, then began to disintegrate away. "I believe he said he would be in Hollow Bastion within a few days. Or was it the Beast's Castle...?" And with that, he was gone.

You decided it was time to tell Demyx about Axel.

* * *

For privacy, you and Demyx stole to his room after work. That's where you were usually, if you weren't in Twilight Town or some other world. After Axel left, the two of you had clung onto each other for dear life.

Both of you settling down on the bed together, Demyx holding his sitar, you nervously bit your thumbnail. Demyx looked up at you and asked, "What's wrong, _?" You got up and peered in the hallways outside of Demyx's room. No one out there. You pulled the door closed and locked it.

You climbed back on the bed and said in a very quiet voice, "Demyx, what I'm about to tell you is _strictly_between us. Have you got it?"

He just nodded and gulped.

"And you have to promise not to be loud. Be as quiet as possible, alright?"

He nodded again.

"Axel is alive."

He looked at you with furrowed brows. He set his sitar down and whispered, "No he's not, Rook. He's been gone for half a year. You saw him die."

You shook your head. "No, he's alive." You explained how he left and you had cried, and decided to tell everyone he was dead to protect him, and then what the cheshire cat had said today on your mission.

Demyx was speechless for a minute. When he found his voice, he said, "I can't believe it. Why didn't you...?"

"To protect you." You looked away. "Demyx, tomorrow, I'm leaving."

Demyx pulled his head up sharply and hissed, "Don't you dare, _."

"Demyx, I have to find him."

"And do what?"

You realized then that you had no idea. You blinked and thought for a minute. "Demyx, come with me. That way all three of us can be together again."

"But... the Superior. If he finds us, we're dead."

"We make sure he doesn't."

Demyx sighed. "It's just... it's not going to work, Rookie. We just can't."

"Well, I can." You stood up from the bed and began to exit. "If you care about me at all, don't tell anyone what I said. Axel being alive or me leaving. Got it?"

Demyx stood up as well. "_, you can't leave!"

"And why ever not, other than the fact that if Xemnas finds me I'm dead? Because that one won't work on me."

"Because if you leave, I'll lose someone close to me. Someone closer to me than I'll ever be able to admit. Please, stay here with me. You're doing just what Axel did, chasing the past and leaving us behind."

"I'm perfectly aware. I need to resolve this. And you should come along with me."

Demyx touched the sides of your face, and you felt the old, familiar feeling of your face burning with a bright red blush. His face was bright red as well, as it often had been. It made you think of that song he sang for you, the night you found the keyblade, and that first night Xemnas fooled you into believing he loved you.

You reached up and kissed him, missing - no, hoping to find - the feel of lips pressed warmly against yours that wanted to be there. The two of you moved together, no words were spoken, and before you knew it, your clothes were tumbling all around you, silently making a promise to go together in the morning. You left his bed and returned to your own later in the night.

In the morning, you woke up, and all was almost normal. Xemnas was gone, already hard at work. You gathered in a bag your emergency stash of Munny, plenty of non-perishable food items, potions, ethers, and anything else you thought might be useful on a journey. Then you set off for Demyx's room.

You were about to knock on your new lover's door when you heard the clunk of someone else's shoes on the cold floor. You looked around to locate a place to hide, but it was too late. You had been spotted.

"My, my. Little Rookie. Look how early it is, did you have a bad dream?"

"That's none of _your_business, Saix."

Saix looked you over once, and his eyes landed on the big bag on your back. "Are we going somewhere? Planning to go somewhere with your little plaything, XIV? Run off with Demyx? Because you know that's against the rules." He smiled sarcastically and summoned his claymore. "Your 'love' affair was heard last night. Now I suppose you two want to run off into the sunset and pretend to be happy for the rest of your miserable lives?"

You summoned your keyblade. As long as they didn't know about Axel, that was fine with you. But you had to protect Demyx. "Whoever said I was running away with Demyx? What if I'm running off on my own and just wanted to say goodbye? I'm not looking for a fight, Saix. You and I have managed to get along just fine for quite a while now, I don't want to start having regular tussles with you."

"Neither do I. That's why I was planning on killing you right here."

You clucked your tongue and held the keyblade up, ready for battle. "Then I guess we'll just see."

He smiled again. "Cheaters never prosper, you know that."

You ran stealthily forward and knocked him in the chest with your keyblade. When you went to hit him again while he was knocked back, he held up his claymore and defended himself. You simply smiled and said, "The best defense is a good offense."

You knocked each other up for a good five minutes, and when the grunting and name-calling became loud, Demyx stepped out of his bedroom, astonished to find you and Saix attempting to rip each other to ribbons. He yelled several times, "Stop!" before you'd pause to fill him in.

"Demyx, I was coming to say goodbye. Saix met me here," you grunted as you blocked a strike from Saix, "because he heard us last night. And now he's decided that we're going to run off together. But that's simply isn't true."

Demyx started, "But, Rook - "

You gritted your teeth. "Isn't that right? You said that home was here."

Demyx, realizing you were covering for him, nodded. You supposed he assumed the two of you would be able to overpower Saix. He grabbed his sitar from his room and yelled, "Dance water, dance!"

A dozen or so water clones rose up from out of nowhere and latched onto Saix. You stood back as Saix struggled to free himself from their grasp, and jumped when they all just fell flat to the ground, and you turned back to see that Zexion had restrained Demyx. He held him back, and Demyx screamed, "Get them off! Get them off!" You wondered if he'd gone off of the deep end until you saw that Zexion's mind was far off, and you knew he had captured Demyx in one of his illusions.

You turned back to Saix, who was recovering from the water clones. You sloshed through the ankle-deep water towards him and raised the keyblade, prepared to make a fatal blow to his head, when Saix unexpectedly flung his claymore towards you and hit you in the stomach.

You flew back and hit a wall. Weak, you stood up and wobbled slightly. You coughed up a bit of blood, and looked around to see the provisions you had packed in your bag were floating in the water. An apple bobbed past your ankle, a can of peaches sunk near Saix. The little cloud of blood twisted and turned its own little path out of the hallway to some other unknown part of the castle.

Running forward, you prepared to hit Saix, who had since reclaimed his claymore. The two of you clashed and friction between the keyblade and the claymore held you together for a single moment, like the dramatic pause in a ballet for the opera of death, two little souls dancing to the music of destiny, manipulated by the hand of fate, forced to play out their drama in a stage for the whole world to see.

You noticed the water began to thin out by your ankles, and you hoped it was because Demyx was using it to attack Zexion, or at least fight whatever he thought was on him off.

Saix pulled back and knocked you into the wall, your head hitting hard. You landed on your feet, but your head felt worse than before, and you held it with one hand while the other had a loose grasp on the keyblade. Still, you focused as much as you could, and screamed, "Why can't anyone just let me be happy!"

Saix stood back and gripped the claymore like a walking stick, though he stood erect. "Why must you pretend to have a heart? Because you don't. You've never come to terms with that, have you, _?" He brought the claymore up and bounced it in one hand as a police officer might bounce a nightstick to seem intimidating.

You screamed as you ran forward for another attack. Saix jumped backwards and the keyblade hit the floor with a clang. You heard Zexion yell once, and a few splashes, then the water came flooding back to your ankles. There were more splashes as Demyx sloshed his way around the corner to see what had happened. You could tell he was spent. You looked back at him once and said, "Stay out, I've got this under control."

Saix jumped in the air, and you pulled the keyblade up to defend yourself. He hit it, and it knocked into your throbbing face, and you cried out. He took the opportunity to knock you several times in several places, ultimately throwing you on the ground. You looked up at him once before he clubbed your stomach, and you coughed up more blood beside of you.

"_STOP! YOU'RE KILLING HER, YOU BASTARD!_"

Saix looked up once and remained stoic. Your vision was fading, and you felt your head spinning. Around your point of view, a dark veil was starting to show and tunnel what you could see. Far away, you heard the echoes of Demyx splashing water to run over and see you.

You were being picked up, put in his lap. He touched your face and said something, though it sounded muffled. "Don't go, please, _... Don't go..."

Clear as a bell, you heard Saix say, "Why must you always be so stupid and pretend to have hearts? The two of you sicken me. Where is _my_heart?"

You weakly tried to sit up and look at Saix, but you plopped right back down. Your head hurt, and all you could see was Demyx. He held you close, and while you were there, you smiled and said softly, "Oh, we do too have hearts. Don't be mad."

You felt Demyx shaking. Something warm and wet was being leaked into your hair... Tears. He said to himself, "So we do." Then, he said to you loudly, "Stay with me, Rookie! C'mon. Please. You can't leave me!"

"I already told you I was leaving. I suppose this just means you can't follow me."

You felt your body going limp. You saw Demyx crying, tears falling out of his eyes uncontrollably, and wisps of darkness floating up from your body. All around you, an icy castle established itself, until you couldn't feel anything, you couldn't move but to cough up more blood. Just opening your eyes got harder and harder as time passed.

"Demyx."

He choked, "Yeah?"

"I'm leaving without you. I'm sorry. This..." You struggled for a breath. "This is goodbye."

Demyx cried harder. "No, this isn't goodbye. You're not leaving me. You can't leave me."

Saix snorted, "She can do what she wants."

Demyx snapped up and yelled at him, "You _bastard!_ How _dare_you, you're the one who killed her! This wasn't her choosing!"

Saix replied flatly, "It was her choosing when she decided to become a traitor."

Demyx looked back down at you, ignoring Saix. A few of his warm tears plinked on your face, and you didn't have enough strength to wipe them off. You felt a few of your own forming as well. "You can't leave me, _. I love you too much."

"I love..." You couldn't move. You struggled to keep your eyes open. It was the end, and you knew it.

"_...! No! _No!_" Demyx grabbed you one more time and you felt yourself lose the battle to keep your eyes open. The last thing you saw was all of the swirling darkness coming off of your body become stronger. You felt yourself dissolve in Demyx's hands, and you were gone.

* * *

Demyx stood up and wiped away a few of his tears. Eventually the water in the hallways would drain, so he didn't bother to clean it up.

"Now, IX, since XIV is dead, and you haven't been proven to be any kind of traitor, you may go along as normal. Unless, of course, you'd like to say anything." Saix clanked his claymore against the floor. A little blood was still left on it. "Please, do know, that if you're a traitor, I'll have to do the same thing to you as I did to _."

Demyx still stared at the spot you'd been. He heard Zexion grunt and get up from around the corner.

"I'll take your silence as a, 'No, Saix, I am perfectly innocent, and do not want to fight you and your mighty power that just struck down my lover and my Superior's girlfriend.'" His sarcasm stung Demyx, a few tears continuing to roll down his face, giving Saix a feeling of satisfaction. "Speaking of which, the four of us will need to hold counsel on this matter, seeing as the Superior will want the full story. We'll report to him later in the morning, after everyone else has gone out." Saix called out, "That means you will be joining us as well, Zexion."

Zexion walked slowly from around the corner, rubbing his head. A few strands of wet hair clung to his face. He moaned and nodded.

"Now, Demyx," Saix said, "I would suggest you go and prepare for the day."

Demyx nodded and returned to his room, where he sat and cried for a good hour before getting himself ready for his meeting with the Superior.

* * *

The four men sat in the tall white chairs. Demyx had his hood up to disguise the fact that he'd been crying. Zexion stared intently at him, but he did his best to ignore him and continue looking at the Superior.

Saix, the last to go, had just finished giving his viewpoint on XIV's death, including the affair with Demyx. Demyx had already admitted to it, but it was still embarrassing to have someone else speaking of the love he's shared less than 24 hours ago with his boss, the man she had been cheating on.

The Superior looked at all three of them. "Do you hear me when I say no one must know about this? One traitor can lead to others. We're lucky Demyx didn't have to be eliminated." He looked towards Saix. "You had told me you had a feeling she would try and defect soon. I'm glad you caught up with her before she could make her escape. It's a shame she had to be eliminated. Kingdom Hearts can use all of the help it can get."

Demyx finally spoke up. "Aren't you sad that she's gone? Aren't you going to miss her?"

Xemnas looked at him sternly. "I won't keep the facade up any longer. I cannot feel, and neither can you. What happened last night was something of lust and that is the only reason why I do not kill you where you sit. I recommend you come back to terms that you do not have a heart, and until we finish Kingdom Hearts, you will not develop a new one of your own."

Demyx pulled his hood down to show to the other three in the room his red, puffy eyes, and one single tear that slid down his cheek. "Then what is this, Superior? Because I feel sad that _ died. That is what causes my tears. Not because of pain from the minor tussle I had with Zexion outside of my doorway, or anything else. This is emotion. This is a heart."

"Would you dare challenge me, IX? Because I don't have any major inclination to keep you here other than to be reminded of XIV."

This silenced Demyx, who pulled his hood back up.

Xemnas looked at all of them. "You are free to spread that XIV died, but do not give the cause. This may cause new chaos. Now that she's gone, hopefully we'll be able to pull ourselves together. We've been in shreds since she was created. You are dismissed."

Demyx was the first to leave.

Upon returning to his room, he picked up his sitar and strummed a few chords, trying to calm himself down. He had lost all will to fight. He didn't feel like fighting for anything anymore. He'd lost the only thing to fight for.

Suddenly, he struck a chord that reminded him of that song he'd written so long ago, he'd played once while she had been asleep. He let out one painful sob and continued playing.

After a while of that, he found he'd lost inspiration. So, instead, he pulled out a piece of paper and a pen and began to write a letter:

_Dear Rook,_

_I'm falling apart back here. I want nothing more than just some more time with you. I miss you. I want to see you again. It's been only a few hours since you died and it already feels like an eternity of hell. I miss you. I love you._

_It turns out Axel was right. Xemnas had just been using you. He can't feel. He claims that I can't feel. But it's like you said, we do too have hearts._

_I don't know what the point of writing this to you is. It's not like you're ever going to get it. It helps myself, I suppose, and I guess from somewhere, wherever you went, either to Kingdom Hearts or some weird afterlife, or maybe you're going to be reincarnated, I think you're looking down on me._

_I don't have much else to say. I love you. I miss you. It's hell down here._

_Love,_  
_Demyx_

He read it once over, and looked out of his window. He could see part of Kingdom Hearts, and it gave him an idea. He folded the letter the way he'd seen some other people doing it once, to make a little airplane. He opened the window and stuck the top half of his body outside of it to stare at Kingdom Hearts.

He took aim, and then threw the airplane. He watched it glide in the air, and get caught by some merciful wind and get carried farther and farther away until Demyx couldn't see it anymore. He climbed back in his room, not necessarily satisfied, but feeling better than before.

He returned to the sitar and strummed a few chords. After a while, he realized that he'd been right. He'd never had the courage to tell her just how much she meant to him. He broke down sobbing, clutching his sitar, letting the tears drop and create vibrations on the taut strings.


	5. Epilogue

Saix was going outside of the castle, for the first time in a long time, while using his legs. Looking around, he saw the buildings, and he saw the signs, and he wondered what the point was in having them. Why were they there? It's not like there were any people here to occupy them.

The meeting they had had with Xemnas had gone exceptionally well. It left him feeling satisfied, knowing he was now the favorite, and had officially put Demyx in a bad light, as well. Since XIV's passing, nothing but good had come to him.

But, suddenly, he felt the air above him changing. He looked up to notice a paper airplane fly past and silhouette in Kingdom Hearts. It landed in front of him.

He looked back and knew that it could have only come from a window in the castle. Curious, he picked it up. Maybe if he was lucky there was Munny to be had from it. He figured, the way his day was going, it was worth a shot.

But instead, it was a note. A scribbly, chicken-scratch, handwritten note. He read it once. Uncomprehending, he sat down on a nearby bench, looked up at Kingdom Hearts, and read it again. And again. And again.

Tears began to stream down his face.

He kept reading it, and reading it.

And he kept looking up at Kingdom Hearts.

"_What have I done?_


End file.
